For GenX’ers growing up in the 70s and 80s, we were bombarded with images and messages about fitness, working out, and strength.

From images of Arnold Schwarzenegger racking up bodybuilding titles left and right during the 70’s…

to Jane Fonda’s popular VCR aerobic workout tapes in the 80’s (which you can still catch on YouTube) . . .

to Richard Simmons’ high-energy videos, like Sweatin’ to the Oldies (which became the biggest selling home fitness video of all-time, grossing over $200 million in 1988) . . .

to Suzanne Somers squeezing the crap out of her thighs with the Thigh Master in the early 90s.

It’s safe to say that we were the first generation raised on the notion of adding exercise to our daily routines.

But nothing in all of those late-night infomercials and VCR tapes talked about what “fitness” means beyond arbitrary numbers on a scale. Few, if any, people back then were talking about the mental and emotional aspects of physical fitness or thinking more broadly talking about holistic physical well-being.

And speaking for myself, I believe that a lot of the messages about fitness that we started receiving from a very young age (much of which persists today), contributed to an unhealthy, inconsistent, and confusing perspective on what fitness meant for me.

I never considered myself an “athlete” growing up.

The Presidential Physical Fitness tests in school were torture, and only reinforced for me how “out of shape” or “unfit” I was. (And I can’t imagine what it was like for others with differing abilities who either couldn’t participate or “failed” the test).

When I did start “working out” in college, I did it because I thought I was supposed to look a certain way.

When I started running in my mid-20’s, it was because I thought I needed to weigh 125 instead of 140, and to prove something to myself and others.

Then, when I started doing marathons and Ironmans, it was because it’s what others around me were doing and I thought that if I could accomplish those lofty goals, maybe then I’d finally feel “fit.”

Never once did I consider what fitness might look like–or feel like–for me rather than what it looked and felt like for everyone else.

It hasn’t been until the last several years–after I quit doing endurance events–that I started reflecting on my fitness journey.

And what I’ve realized is that I was absolutely miserable for 99.9% of the time that I was training for endurance races or working out. None of the reasons I mentioned above for working out ended up being a sustainable fuel source for me.

I was miserable because I was always in pain, always getting injuries, never felt fast enough, never believed I was ripped enough, and always struggled with my motivation to do my workouts. Consequently, I was never fully satisfied with my athletic accomplishments and often have struggled with maintaining any consistency and motivation.

As I’ve rethought my fitness over the last several years and embraced more holistic physical well-being, I’ve realized that workouts or training are only a small part of the overall journey.

A lot has to happen before I even lace up my running shoes or pull out my dumbbells.

And, as I’ve learned, it’s never really about the race distance or the number of pounds. What often gets in the way of accomplishing those more tangible goals is either focusing only on those goals or being motivated largely by external or societal expectations for what your individual health should look like.

Frankly, it’s time for Gen X’ers to embrace a more holistic approach. One that focuses on overall physical well-being, rather than external notions of “fitness.”

So, if you’re a Gen X’er who’s struggling with your “fitness” through your 40s and 50s, here are 7 tips to help you develop a more holistic approach to physical well-being that may help you find motivation, joy, and ease in your journey . . . and maybe help you reach those tangible results too!

№ 1: Create your own definition of “physical well-being”

Ditch the external expectations of “fitness” and embrace your own definition of “physical well-being.” Your journey of physical well-being will look vastly different from everyone else, so stop holding yourself to their standards. 

Whether you’ve been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease, are struggling with long-Covid, have limited mobility, or want to train for your first 5k, ask yourself two questions. First, “what does physical well-being feel like for me?” And by “feel,” I want you to lean into affirmative feelings. For example, instead of saying “I don’t want to feel tired,” say “I want to feel energized.” Second, ask “what’s one small step that I can take today to lean into those feelings of physical well-being?” If you want to feel energized, maybe take a nap (yes, that’s part of physical well-being!). Or go outside for 10 minutes to get some sun.

№ 2 Know your “why” 

By “why,” I mean your Core Values. I’m not talking about “I want to lose 10 pounds to fit into my jeans again.” Instead, ask “what value do I want to honor that’s underneath that tangible goal of losing 10 pounds and fitting into my jeans?” Maybe you have a value of vitality or being active that you want to honor. 

Then ask, “how will I feel when I’m honoring that value?” For example, will you feel excited, energized, or happy? How you feel when you’re honoring that value is your “why.” And that feeling doesn’t have to wait until you lose 10 pounds. You can experience that feeling now. You can honor your Core Values now. And you can use those Core Values and the underlying feelings as your true source of motivation and fuel.

№ 3 Know your “who”

Once you know your “why,” then you want to know “who” you are going to be as you tap into that “why.” So write a “who” statement. And by “who,” I don’t mean “I am a marathoner.” That could be true, and it could be a goal that you’re moving toward; however, we want to find a way to express the “who” we want to be that allows for growth and possible road bumps. We want a “flexible” identity rather than a “rigid” identity. 

For example, your “who” statement could be “I am someone who is learning to run a marathon.” That kind of flexible statement allows for the learning and effort that goes into running a marathon. It also allows for “off days.” If your “who” statement is “I’m a marathoner,” then you may beat yourself up if you miss a day of training or don’t finish the marathon. With the more flexible statement, however, even if you miss a day of training or don’t run the full distance, you’re still someone who is “learning to run a marathon.”

№ 4 Get an accountability buddy

This seems like a no-brainer, yet so many of us (myself included) try to gut it out by ourselves. Your accountability buddy doesn’t have to be someone to do your workouts with. It can be someone you text every morning to let them know you did your workout. So, consider what kind of accountability will best support you, and then find someone who can provide that accountability for you.

№ 5 Keep track

Again, sounds simple, yet I’ve found that this is an under-appreciated form of positive feedback. Our brains like to see rewards. So find a visual way to keep track of your progres. That could be as simple as a red “X” on a calendar for the days you work out. Or a penny placed in a jar. Focus on the number of “X’s” or pennies that you accumulate rather than on the number you don’t have.

№ 6 Make it social

Social can mean getting out with real live people, or posting your workouts on social media to celebrate what you’ve done. Again, this is another way to reward ourselves and the encouragement from others can help keep us motivated.

№ 7 Make it part of your day

Let’s get back to some of our human roots when “exercise” was just physical activity that we naturally did during the day. People often get hung up on their inability to incorporate 20 or more minutes of physical activity in their hectic days. If that feels overwhelming or impossible, then break it down and incorporate more physical activity in the little moments of your day. 

Stand if you’re able to while you’re working. Park further away from the store to get more steps. Do chair yoga. Take the stairs. Do some squats while on a conference call. And if you’re limited in your physical abilities, is there some small motion that you can do, like gentle stretching or deep breathing? Tiny moments of physical activity during the day add up.

And one bonus tip 

X it up! Bring that Gen X spirit into your physical well-being. 

Make it fun! Break out some of those Jane Fonda tapes. Put on some leg warmers or a headband. Crank up the 80’s tunes as you do some gentle stretches. 

Remember: it’s not about looking like a fitness model. True, sustainable, holistic physical well-being is your own personal journey.

Michele L. Walter is a Certified Professional Coach, Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher, and owner of Life From The Summit, Mindfulness and Coaching. She writes about topics that speak to the forgotten GenX’ers who are facing a myriad of transitions at this stage of life. Michele is passionate about guiding these lost and restless 40/50-year-olds through these transitions to more peace, freedom, and badassery. If you like this article, please consider sharing it or even supporting Michele’s work by buying her a coffee. And come join the Life From The Summit journey to receive weekly insights, resources, and tips.