In a world where deep spiritual teachings get hacked into quick-fix, late-nite infomercials, we hear all the time that “anything is possible.” Or “you can do anything you set your mind to.”

It’s bullshit.

The sentiment behind that type of messaging may have been well-intended; but, it’s actually done more harm than good.

The intent is to encourage people to dream big, think outside the box, question the stories that they’ve been told, challenge limitations.

I’m a big fan of all of that. Please . . . go do all of that.

Often, however, when people are bombarded with this kind of cheesy messaging, they are left to figure out how to “live their best life” without any tools or practices and - worse yet - without the deeper spiritual foundations that are necessary to empower people to learn how to step outside their comfort zones.

And although it’s certainly beneficial to challenge limitations and stories, a lot of people who latch onto the notion that “anything is possible” end up spending a lot of energy fantasizing. For example, at the age of 50, I can fantasize and dream all I want about walking on the moon. But for a variety of real-world physical and mental reasons, that ain’t happenin’. But by all means, continue to tell me that “anything is possible if I just sent my mind to it.”

I get that this all sounds pretty negative for a mindfulness meditation teacher and transformation coach. But one of my and my business's Core Values is honesty.

So, let me be honest: not everything is possible. And anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you a bag of crap. There are legitimate reasons that I will never walk on the moon.

Humans cannot do everything that they set their minds to. Anyone who tells you otherwise has set their mind to taking a bunch of money from you. I could meditate, pray, make a vision board, and put sticky notes all over my house with pictures of the moon. Again, it' ain’t happenin.’

But, here’s some more honesty for you: there’s a whole lot of shit that is possible for you and even more shit that you can accomplish by setting your mind to it. You just haven’t found the real way to go about setting achievable, yet highly ambitious, scary, and empowering visions for yourself.

How do you do that?

1. You allow yourself to have a vision that scares the crap out of you. A vision that you’re actually embarrassed to have other people know. Why? Because if you’re scared, you’ll be motivated. If you’re embarrassed by your vision, it means that something in you wants to challenge the norms, limitations, and stories you’ve been force fed. Being scared and embarrassed about your vision is where you want to be. A boring, safe, “socially-acceptable” vision won’t motivate you to get your butt out of bed and make it happen.

2. You make that vision as specific as possible. You’re not just going to run a marathon in all 50 states in 50 days. You’re going to include details about where you’ll run, what it will feel like, who will be there, how you’ll deal with weather and physical pain, and what feeling you will have when you finish. A vague vision isn’t exciting enough - it doesn’t invite you into the story that you’re trying to write. Imagine this: if you saw a book cover with an awesome title like “Person runs 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days,” but all you could buy was the cover and the not the book, would you buy it? No. You want all the pages - all the details - of how that person did it, what motivated them, and what they experienced before, during, and after.

3. You give your vision a reality check. And by that, I mean you recognize legitimate, immovable, unchangeable factors that would prevent that vision from happening. For example, if you’re 50 years old, you’re not going to become a starting first baseman for the Chicago Cubs right now if you’ve never played professional baseball. That’s an unchangeable fact. But, you have to be really clear on what truly are immovable and unchangeable facts. Being a single mom working two jobs to support her family is not an immovable, unchangeable fact that would prevent you from going back to school to get the degree you’ve always wanted. It’s a hurdle - but it’s not immovable. If your vision has immovable and unchangeable facts that stand in the way, then you need to tweak your vision or find another vision that brings you the feeling and experience that you’re really after. Otherwise, your vision is just a fantasy.

4. You doublecheck that reality check by creating an actionable plan for that vision. When do you want to have this vision be a reality? By a certain date or age? Figure that out, and then back up from there with the micro-goals that need to be in place. If you want to go back to school for a degree within the next 5 years, then a micro-goal may be that you want to save up $10,000 first. When will that need to happen? Then outline your action steps for every micro-goal, all the way back to this moment right now. Then ask, “Is this doable?” If you look at your plan and say “oh shit, that’s going to be really difficult,” then it’s still doable. Difficult, scary, ugly, bumpy, and crazy do not mean un-doable.

5. Finally, put that plan into action! Get someone to help hold you accountable every step of the way (ah hem, like a coach). Make adjustments as you go. Think about how you’ll handle setbacks or unforeseen circumstances. Remember: a setback does not mean that your vision is undoable unless something truly immovable and unchangeable comes up. And even then, you tweak the vision.

Most of all, remember this: there’s a lot more that’s possible for you than you realize or are willing to admit. It doesn’t mean that everything is possible or that you can just manifest what you want by visualizing it every day. So, find that line. Go right up to the edge of what’s impossible. To what scares you. What you’re embarrassed to let other people know. That is where I want to invite you to play.

Because what is entirely possible for you, is for you to expand your own thinking - challenge the stories you’ve been told - about what is and isn’t possible for you. To call bullshit on the commercialized thinking that “anything is possible” and, simultaneously, call bullshit on what you’ve been led to believe is impossible for you.