here’s something I’ve noticed about Gen X’ers lately. Like most of the world, Gen X’ers are facing a lot of uncertainty. 

And yeah, we grew up under a lot of uncertainty, so we’re no strangers to it. We weren’t sure from one day to the next whether we were going to get nuked by the then-Soviet Union or whether our parents were going to be able to ride the waves of economic uncertainty in the 1970’s.

But the uncertainty that Gen X’ers are facing now seems to have a particular “flavor.” It’s an uncertainty that has crept in with all the deceptiveness of the intro to a Spandau Ballet song.

We’re cruisin’ along through life, reminiscing about how awesome it was to grow up in the 70s and 80s while wearing our favorite concert t-shirts and Doc Martens, bragging about we don’t care if we’ve been forgotten by everyone else.

Then gradually we start to realize that we’re

→ unhappy in our careers and don’t know what to do about it

→ facing a retirement that we’re not fully prepared for

→ watching our parents decline in their mental and physical health and we’re not sure how to care for them

→ noticing changes in our bodies that leave us wondering how the hell this happened

→ not sure how we got here, who we are anymore, and where to go from here.

This uncertainty has a bit more bite to it.

And in the face of that uncertainty, we can begin to feel restless, hopeless, in despair, or even apathetic.

So how do we face the uncertainty that comes with these natural life transitions?

Here are some tips for harnessing the power of confidence, courage, and clarity to navigate those choppy waters.

Remember This Equation

Buddhist Monk Shinzen Young developed a powerful equation that can set the stage for facing uncertainty in the midst of transition:

Suffering = Pain x Resistance

The uncertainty you’re facing . . . the transitions ahead of you . . . they’re part of life. Life has and is pain. In fact, if there’s one thing of which you can be certain, it’s that life will have pain.

In the face of pain though, how much you suffer depends on how much resist that pain.

And resistance comes in many forms:

→ ignoring it

→ fighting it

→ wishing it would go away

→ denying it

→ trying everything in your power to “silver lining” your way out of it

Uncertainty can be painful. Don’t make yourself suffer more by resisting that. What you resist persists.

One way to ease resistance to pain — and thus, to uncertainty — is to cultivate a mindfulness meditation practice. Mindfulness is a beautiful invitation to let things be as they are. 

A great place to start is my Kickstart Your Mindfulness Meditation program. 

Cultivate Confidence 

“Badassery, I’m discovering, is a new level of confidence — in both yourself and those around you.” — Shonda Rhimes

One of the keys to navigating uncertainty is cultivating confidence from within.

It’s ironic how Gen X’ers are known for their strength and independence; yet, so many of us have a deep lack of confidence.

Confidence allows us to trust in ourselves and our abilities, even when the path ahead is unclear. Deeply rooted confidence doesn’t depend on external factors (like self esteem does).

Inner confidence is like an anchor we can keep coming back to.

Coaching tip:

→ think of a time in your life when you felt confident

→ notice where confidence lives in your body and what it feels like

→ spend a few minutes every day building that muscle of confidence by sitting with — ”installing” — those feelings of confidence.

Summon Courage

Courage is another essential ingredient for navigating uncertainty.

Courage is the willingness to step into the unknown, to confront our fears, and to take bold action in spite of uncertainty. By providing practical tools and strategies for building courage, we can empower ourselves to embrace change and seize new opportunities with confidence and resilience.

Coaching tip for courage building:

→ Is there a dream that you’ve let languish?

→ Consider how fear is holding you back from that dream.

→ Allow that fear to be present (remember: if you resist the fear, it will persist)

→ Even with the fear, consider what resources or strengths you have within you.

→ Using those resources or strengths, take one teeny tiny step in the direction of that dream.

→ Reflect on how taking a step forward, even in the face of fear, feels for you.

→ Spend a few minutes every day installing those feelings of courage.

Gain Clarity

In the midst of uncertainty, clarity is like a guiding light — a beacon to help us navigate the darkness.

Clarity, however, is not the same thing as certainty. Certainty is inflexible and demands a guarantee. Certainty is resistance to the fact that there will always be uncertainty, i.e., pain. 

Clarity demands only focus, presence of mind, and knowing the next step right in front of you.

When we’re facing uncertainty, there can be several things about which we lack clarity. And often the biggest question for which we’re seeking clarity is: “how do I do this?”

Stop worrying about the “how” for right now. And yes, that applies to all of you Type-A planners as well! Nothing wrong with planning; but, if you’re planning in the vein of trying to create certainty, well then it’s not really clarity that you’re after.

So go ahead and plan if you want . . . but, let’s release the expectation of certainty. Instead, plan from clarity.

Clarity on:

→ what deeply matters to you

→ what honestly gets in your way — both externally and internally

→ the experience and feelings you want to have as you move through this transition and come out the other side

→ the next step that’s right in front of you. Don’t worry about the 50 steps after that.

Importantly, starting a mindfulness meditation practice can help you begin to gain clarity. Mindfulness meditation can help you see past the traps of your incessant thoughts, become aware of your reactions to the transition you’re facing, and cultivate more equanimity. 

Final Thoughts

Finding the confidence, courage, and clarity to face life transitions is a practice. It won’t happen overnight.

And it also will be much easier to embrace the uncertainty of this time warp of transitions if you have support. So whatever you do, repeat after me: “I will not do this alone. I will find someone who can support me, encourage me, and stand by my side.”

Until next time . . . stay gold, Gen X’ers.

Michele L. Walter is a Certified Professional Coach, Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher, and owner of Life From The Summit, Mindfulness and Coaching. She writes about topics that speak to the forgotten Gen X’ers who are facing a myriad of transitions at this stage of life. Michele is passionate about guiding these lost and restless 40/50-year-olds through these transitions to confidence, courage, and clarity. If you like this article, please consider sharing it or even supporting Michele’s work by buying her a coffee. And come join the Life From The Summit journey to receive weekly insights, resources, and tips.