3 Tips for Gen X’ers to Find Presence While Moving Toward Goals

For a generation that grew up wanting to find more balance, Generation X often struggles to find more ease and presence on the path to achieving our goals.  Whether it’s saving for retirement, starting our own business, or trying to lose some weight, Gen X’ers are as much a victim of our American “hustle” culture as every other generation. 

This hustle culture mentality emphasizes constant productivity, relentless ambition, and the glorification of busyness.  And the effects of this hustle mentality include: 

→ equating our worth with our productivity, 

→ hyper-focus on the future rather than the present, and

→ stress, burnout, and anxiety (just to name a few).

In using “hustle” to pursue our worthy goals, we often lose sight of ourselves, the present, and the journey.  Consequently, if/when we reach our goals, we’re underwhelmed, burnt out, or already asking “what’s next?”  

So, how do we move toward our goals in a way that allows us to be more present, doesn’t burn us out, and truly appreciate the journey rather than the destination? 

Here are three tips that you can use right now.  

No. 1:  Separate the “tangible” from the “intangible”

Most people set goals with the hope of achieving something tangible: 

→ getting a new job

→ having a certain amount of money

→ looking a certain way

But here’s the kicker:  the tangible “thing” you’re after, isn’t your goal.  

You think it’s the goal because achieving or having that tangible “thing” is what you believe will satisfy some intangible need, feeling, or experience.  

For example, the million dollars that you want to save for retirement isn’t your goal. The need for freedom is your true goal.  

The ten pounds you want to lose isn’t your true goal.  The feeling of health or vibrance is your real goal.  

It’s totally fine to focus on a tangible goal.  But what happens when you get derailed from achieving that tangible goal?  You likely feel disappointed, angry, sad, or hopeless because you had everything–including your self worth–wrapped up in your expectation of meeting that one tangible goal.  

On the flip side, focusing on the intangible need, feeling, or experience does two things.  First, it helps you realize that you can meet your goal or something even better.  Take the example of losing ten pounds.  If you narrowly focus on that number and don’t end up losing ten pounds, you may beat yourself up, give up, or even end up gaining weight.  And if you lose ten pounds, your worth and sense of accomplishment will be tied to that number.  Then what happens then if you gain a pound or two back?  

But if you stay focused on the feeling of health or vibrance as the true goal, then you might lose five pounds and feel healthy and vibrant.  Or you might not lose any weight and instead, find activities where you feel healthy and vibrant anyway.  Or maybe you buy the next size up in jeans and realize that you look like a healthy and vibrant love machine!  Focusing on the intangible need, feeling, or experience, opens up a world of possibilities. 

The second thing that happens is that you can stay in the present moment.  In the example of losing ten pounds, you have the feeling of health or vibrance on-demand.  It’s not something for which you have to wait.  In this moment, you can tap into that feeling of health or vibrance.  You can imagine what health and vibrance look like for you.  And then you can use that feeling–right now–as fuel to keep you moving forward.   

No. 2:  Learn and stay true to your values  

Fill in this sentence:  

“Accomplishing _________ is important to me because ___________.”  

Then, whatever you put in that second blank, distill it down into one or two words.  

For example:  “Accomplishing having my own business is important to me because I want to make an impact on the world.”

The word that summarizes that second blank is “legacy.”   

And “legacy” is a value.    

Your values are the deeper “why” behind your tangible goal.  

Knowing the value(s) you want to honor by accomplishing that tangible goal keeps you in the present moment because all you need to do is take the next step right in front of you that aligns with your value(s).

If you want to start your own business to honor your value of legacy, focusing on the hundred steps in front of you will pull you out of the present moment.  Instead, focus on the step that you can take right now that feels aligned with honoring your value of legacy.  

No. 3:  Embrace humility 

It’s easy for us to expect that achieving our goals should happen overnight.  And when we don’t see as much progress as we’d expect, we can become disappointed, discouraged, and disillusioned.  

In the space between where you are now and where you want to be, there is humility.  

Humility opens the door for appreciation of where you are now, while giving you the fuel you need to walk through the door toward where you want to be.  

Embracing humility allows you to embrace the “both/and” of working toward a goal.

You can both appreciate where you are now and recognize that you want something more. 

Embracing humility allows you to both rely on your strength of independence and recognize when you need help in making your goal a reality.  

Humility allows you to recognize, in this moment, that there are things you can change and things you cannot.  

And humility allows you to recognize that all you ever need to do is take one small step forward, fueled by the intangible experience you really want, and guided by the values that you want to honor.  

What’s one tangible goal you want?

What’s the intangible goal beneath that?

What’s the value you want to honor?

From a place of humility, what’s one small step you can take in this moment?