Is “Ease” a Dirty 4-Letter Word?

Patty’s Sunrise at the Outer Banks, North Carolina.

On July 31st, my dog, Winnie, and I hit the road for an adventure that was only partially planned and had no return date.  

Five weeks and more than 7,000 miles later, we arrived back at home . . . .

I'm still processing through the magnificence and profound impact of this trip. So there will be much to share in the weeks and months to come.  

One theme, however, that emerged not only from the trip, but from my time since being back home, is that of finding ease.  

What comes to mind when you hear the word "ease?" Do you feel like you need to consult to the dictionary to figure out what it means exactly? I did . . . . 

According to The Google, "ease" is the absence of difficulty or effort.

Cool. Seems easy enough, right? And it sounds facially appealing. I mean, who wants difficulty or effort in their life?  

"Ease" even rolls off the tongue nicely . . . just say it out loud, nice 'n slow . . . "eeeasssse." Nice, right?  

So why is finding ease so dang difficult?  

Why do some of us avoid ease and refuse to even speak about like it's a dirty 4-letter word?

Well, I have lots of theories on that:

• Western conditioning that equates "ease" with "laziness"

• Good ol' American work "ethic" that tells us that things have to be difficult, that we have to work hard, that we have to push, force, and "kill it"

• Judgment from others when we experience something with ease, e.g., we just got lucky

• Discomfort with what it feels like to actually experience the unfamiliar feeling of "ease"

I could go on and on, but you get the point.  

We have sanitized our lives and our vocabularies to get rid of "ease" with as much fervor as I disinfected against COVID in all of the hotels and AirBNB's where I stayed on my trip.  

So my question to you is this:  What would your life be like if you invited in more ease? 

Oh, I can hear you already: "But, Michele, my life is just hard. Nothing is ease-ful for me. I have all of these responsibilities, obligations, items on my to-do list, people who depend on me, a demanding job . . . ."

That's a totally normal and expected response to that question. And let me assure you - you are not alone.  

But notice that I asked you about inviting in "more ease." So it's a relative question. If you have zero ease in your life right now, what would it be like to kick that up one tiny notch - from a 0 to 1? 

"Why would I want to do that?" you ask. 

Well, for one, it just feels great!  

In addition, inviting in more ease allows you to begin to tune into your life. Instead of forcing and rushing, instead of being ruled by the difficult and hard, you can let ease carry you . . . like a wave carries water to the shore and then gently pulls it back again. 

Ease allows you to listen . . . to rest . . . to trust.  

To be in the flow. 

"So how can I invite in more ease?" you ask.

By raising your awareness around what "ease" feels like in your body, and then expanding that sensation as much and as frequently as you can so that your body learns to recognize what ease feels like . . . so that you actually start to crave ease instead of difficulty. Yes "crave" ease . . . because right now, you may be addicted, accustomed, or oblivious to the difficult. We want to rewire your brain to be accustomed to more ease. 

And you can do this through a mindfulness meditation practice.  

So find a comfortable position.  

Close your eyes. 

Take a few deep inhales and exhales, following the breath all the way in and all the way out.  

Let the breath return to normal. 

Then bring to mind a time in your life when you felt ease. Maybe it was on vacation. Or after doing something where you felt "in the flow." Or playing with your child or pet. If nothing comes to mind, imagine what ease may feel like for you.  

How does your body tell you when you're experiencing ease? Where do you notice that sensation of ease in your body? What does that sensation feel like - is it light, open, fluttery, calm, etc.? 

Rest your awareness on that sensation, and then breathe into it . . . inviting the breath into that sensation, allowing the sensation to expand.  

Practice this for a few moments, then take another deep inhale and exhale, opening your eyes.  

That's it! Start there by simply inviting in a bit more ease through a formal mindfulness meditation practice.

And, as you go about your day, bring in the informal practice of mindfulness by noticing when you feel moments of ease. What are doing when you feel ease? What does ease feel like in your body? 

Remember:  this is a practice - not a "flip of a switch." Keep coming back to the practice, both formally and informally, and be curious about whether anything starts to shift over time. Maybe, just maybe, you'll begin to see "ease" as the most beautiful 4-letter word ever. 

As always, if you want more help with your mindfulness practice, shoot me an email.  

* ANNOUNCEMENT *

Join me on Facebook and Instagram on Friday evenings at 5:00 p.m. Mountain Time for a live talk and guided meditation. You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel, where I'll be posting all of the Friday Evening Meditations. 

Last Friday's talk and mediation were on self-compassion for changing our relationship to old wounds. Check it out here.